Out of India

Miscarriage

2011-11-16T20:14:00.000-08:00

We got news last night that our surrogate miscarried at 7 weeks. We went from feeling on top of the world to the valley sadness in a matter of minutes. This second negative outcome (we tried for a sibling in July) has really made us appreciate how blessed we are to have little Aedan in our lives.

The road to parenthood is never easy for us who are infertile or unable to have children by "natural" means, but it is a journey that provides the greatest reward to those who persevere. Sometimes we are lucky on the first attempt and other times it takes try after try after try.

Fortunately, we have few frozen embryos left from our new egg donor so we aren't completely SOL. Although, the sting of over $20,000 spent so far this year with no baby to show for it is more than slightly painful.

We've decided to wait until after the New Year to thaw our ice babies so we can enjoy the next several weeks worry-free. It has been a tough week waiting for our heartbeat scan and then finding out our SM was bleeding for days. I need a mental break, that's for sure.

One Year and Another Try

2011-09-26T15:44:00.000-07:00

What a summer! We've kept really busy the last few months and I've been procrastinating on updating the blog. Sorry! Let's see... we went to Idaho for a bit in July and Aedan got to go on a boat for the first time. She didn't get to utilize her swimming skills as the water was too cold, but she was quite the trooper being zipped up in a life-vest for several hours.

Aedan loves to be outside and likes to "garden". She digs in the dirt and helps me pick weeds. We had to gave her a mini watering can because she wanted to water all the plants with the big one, but it was just too cumbersome. When we go for walks around the block with the dog, she wants to hold the leash which gets dropped frequently when there is something more interesting to pick up. We are on constant leaf, rock and stick patrol.

Aedan has two teeth on bottom and four on top. She is not a good teether so, when all top four came in at the same time, we had a few rough weeks. We've found that homemade popsicles using coconut water are the trick to keeping her (and us) calm, cool and collected. I'm definitely not looking forward to her cutting molars. Cringe!

We went to the local zoo several times in August as well as the museum of natural history to see the live butterfly exhibit twice. Aedan adores all animals; big and small. We even visited the sea center down on the pier where we got to pet baby sharks and touch a starfish. Oh, and we fed a couple of giraffes at the zoo, too!

Aedan enjoys eating food and her favorite meal is Lamb Korma (evidenced above). There isn't a fruit she has tried that she didn't like. She'll eat black olive slices which she stacks three-high on her finger before shoving them in her mouth. She recently discovered "puffs" and "O's" at my Mommies Group and has been known to knock another kid over to get to them. I finally had to buy some (I was against feeding her processed foods) so she had her own stash.

Aedan recently started running after having walked on her own for quite awhile now. She screams with delight as Daddy chases her around the house and she picks up speed. We've had to buy her new shoes because she's outgrown all her size 3 and 4's. I think she has big feet compared to the other babies we hang around and given her small stature. Isn't there a saying, "Big feet, big heart"?

Aedan is finally starting to warm up to other people after having been extremely shy since, well, practically birth. She has started waving unprompted to strangers (mostly other kids) when we go out and even let a few of my close friends hold her on their laps for a few minutes without crying. We haven't tried leaving her with a babysitter yet, but that is in the works. Mommy and Daddy need a night out!

In addition to weekly swim lessons, Aedan has been taking a music class which has exposed her to all sorts of musical instruments along with singing and dancing. She has really taken to the drums and will bang on anything (even the toilet seat) as if it where a drum. We have dance parties almost every day where we turn on music and dance around. Aedan has a real ear for the beat and a natural rhythm. She can "booty pop" like nobody's business.

It's hard to believe our little dream girl turned a year old this month. It has been an absolute joy to watch her grow up. She's so much fun and very smart, if I do say so myself. The experience has been so rewarding that we're trying for a sibling.

We had a failed fresh cycle in July (we told few people) and we decided we needed to pick a new egg donor since the quality of the embryos was poor with none left over to freeze. Also, our last ED had a personal situation which prevents her from donating again anytime soon. So, we picked a new ED and are cycling again now.

Our cycle dates changed today due to a minor delay, but I think our embryo transfer will be in early October. I'll keep y'all posted as our next journey unfolds. Until then...

Nine Months & Father's Day

2011-06-19T14:43:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe our little girl is 9 months old today. The last three months have flown by. Aedan is crawling everywhere and really wanting to walk. She never likes to sit in one place for more than a few minutes.

Her favorite pastime is to hold our hand (or just one finger, even) and walk around the house investigating all the cracks and crevices. Right now she is cruising in circles around the coffee table in the living room, holding on to the sides and the furniture around it.

She is really into her daddy lately, too. She gets really excited when he enters the room and will crawl to him when he is in another room. Sometimes it makes me feel like chopped liver.

She does prefer to be comforted by me when she falls or hurts herself. I guess nothing feels as good as mommy's arms. Even if I have to resort to a pacifier and her snuggly blanket to really calm her down.

She loves books and talks a little bit (mama, dada, light, ball, book, kitty, dog) in her own baby speak. She is learning to swim and starts music lessons this summer.

Everyday I am amazed by my life. Our days are filled with all things baby and I love it. None of it would be possible without my darling husband who works hard so I can stay home and raise Aedan. I want to thank Aaron for being such a wonderful dad and supportive partner. Happy Father's Day!

Half Birthday!

2011-03-20T12:58:00.000-07:00

Our little girl turned 6 months old yesterday. Man, time is flying by!

She is apple of her daddy's eye and her mommy's best friend.

She loves standing and only likes one thing more...

...and that's jumping! She has the strongest legs!

She is still not a fan of "tummy time", but is getting better.

She also really likes hair. She plays with mine when drinking her bottles.

She is sitting up all on her own and enjoys being outside in the yard.

Happy half-year birthday, Aedan. We love you lots and lots!

I know, I know...

2011-01-30T16:16:00.000-08:00

...I'm a bad blogger. To be perfectly honest, I have gone back and forth about whether or not to keep up my blog going forward. It seems like it could become an invasion into Aedan's privacy at some point. I don't want her to grow up with all the details about and pictures of her life posted on the internet for the whole wide world to see.

On the other hand, I also feel an obligation to the surrogacy community to keep everyone updated on the great blessing in our lives. Plus, I'm the proudest mama and want to share all the wonderful moments we are enjoying with the best baby on the planet. It's a conundrum, for sure.

Anyway, I have decided that - until Aedan is at least a year old - she is too young for it to really matter what I say in blogland. It's not like I'm disclosing international secrets or anything. Right?

Aedan is very talkative (read: noisy!), eats some solid foods, can sit up almost all by herself, loves to stand constantly, is just starting to roll around on the floor and likes to sleep... a lot. She got to spend a month up in Idaho in the snow with us at my in-laws where she seemed to grow and mature right before our very eyes. She went from an infant to a baby in a few weeks.

At her pediatrician appointment last week, we found out that she is in the 50th percentile for height and the 10th for weight which means she is long and lean but, perfectly healthy. A living doll!

So, without further adieu, here are some choice pics from the last three months:

Home Sweet Home

2010-10-24T16:42:00.000-07:00

Aedan is 5 weeks old today and it seems like time has flown by. We were able to get her exit visa last Monday and moved our plane tickets up to a Tuesday departure. After over 30 hours of traveling, we made it home safely on Wednesday. We've been recovering from jet lag ever since.

Aedan was an absolute angel on both the 14 1/2 hour flight from New Delhi to Newark and the 5 1/2 hour flight from Newark to Los Angeles. She slept in an airline-provided bassinet on the longer leg and on the middle seat between us on the shorter leg. She woke on her own every 3 hours like clockwork to feed and didn't fuss at all. We are truly blessed with a great baby!

She wasn't too happy about being strapped into a car seat for the first time as we prepared to drive home from LAX. But, after giving her a pacifier, she calmed right down and slept the entire 2 hours. It was kind of unsettling to have her sitting in the back seat all by herself and not be holding her in the car like we had been for the month in India although I know it is a lot safer.

Yesterday we drove 1 1/2 hours up north for a friend's wedding which was just beautiful. My siblings were all in attendance and it was so uplifting to be around such amazing support and love. Aedan wore her first real outfit rather than the onesies she has been wearing everyday. It was so cute to see her all dressed up and I can't believe we didn't get pictures. I think I must have new mommy brain because I keep forgetting to bring the camera with us when we go out.

To end, I leave you with a photo of Dr. Shivani holding Aedan at SCI on the day before we flew out. We are so grateful to have met this awesome woman and have her in our lives. We were able to spend some quality time with her at a lovely dinner with other new parents which she hosted a few days before we left Delhi. She is so down-to-earth and a joy to hang out with. We love her!

Play-Doh Factory

2010-10-17T05:48:00.000-07:00

It was no surprise that an inquiry is required on our request for Aedan's exit visa. Due to the Commonwealth Games going on in New Delhi, we lost a couple of days in getting things started last week. The field officer from the FRRO stopped by on Thursday afternoon to review our original documents and our surrogate was interviewed on Friday morning. We were told that the report is favorable and will be turned into the senior official Monday morning.

Per our lawyer (who is helping us expedite the process), we should be able to leave by the 20th which is when our return airline tickets are for. We will know more tomorrow afternoon once the inquiry report is reviewed. This is excellent timing as our apartment is rented to someone else on the 23rd and we would have had to find other accommodations. Also, our own exit visas are due to expire on the 25th as they were for multiple entry from last October and only good for one year.

Now on to a more amusing topic; poop. We have been supplementing Aedan's feedings with formula which caused some upset in her digestion. She hadn't passed any stool in almost 4 days as a result. Well, today the flood gates were opened... literally.

Just moments ago, as I prepared to type up this post, there was some suspect grunting coming from the infant swing. A quick sniff confirmed a poo. Yay! This would be the second one of the day and very satisfying for baby.

As I was changing her diaper, Aedan decided to go some more while undiapered. Good thing I had a wipe handy! I was able to catch most of it and was laughing as I relayed the happenings to Aaron. Then, as I was reaching for another wipe and before I had a chance to lay down a clean diaper, the "gate" was opened again. WTH!

The story does not end there. After a few minutes of clean up and a fresh diaper, another long, guttural grunt emanated from our dainty little girl. It couldn't be, could it? Yep. More poo! I think she was making up for the last several days of no bowel movements. Ha, ha!

Mommy couldn't be more happier for or proud of her little Play-Doh Factory. Better out than in, right? Happy 4 week old birthday, Aedan!

I'm an American!

2010-10-10T05:27:00.000-07:00

After hearing from the DNA lab last week that they needed 6 business days to process our test kit, we decided to pay a rush fee to have the results the same day. So, three people stayed late into the night at the lab to complete the analysis on Friday (Thursday night PST) so that the report could be emailed to the Embassy before the 3-day holiday weekend. We received a call from Nancy at the American Citizens Services to pick up Aedan's passport later that afternoon.

We then headed over to the High Court to met with Mr. Chawla, our lawyer, about expediting the exit visa process. His associate, Radika, gave us two checklists of the documentation required for both the Ministry of Home Affairs (MHA) and the Foreigner's Regional Registration Office (FRRO). We spent today organizing all of our paperwork and crossing off each required item. We are meeting Radika at the MHA tomorrow morning and the FRRO on Tuesday.

We are hoping for everything to take about a week if things go the way they did for the Christmas Eve Boys. It would be absolutely wonderful if we were able to leave on Friday night or, even better, if we were not selected for an inquiry at all. We know it is a slim chance for either.

Today Aedan is 3 weeks old and still an absolute doll. Things are going a lot smoother for her and me. It was determined after quitting one of the breastfeeding medications that I was having a bad reaction to the drug. Although stopping it has negatively impacted my milk supply, I am much better off emotionally and mentally without it. I'm a better mommy now even if we are having to supplement Aedan's feedings.

The landlord where we are staying had a sofa that was downstairs in the common area brought up to our room so we have a couch to sit on for eating and feeding and watching TV. It is so much more comfortable here now. We are very appreciative that he not only listened, but also resolved our concern so quickly. Thank you, Deepak!

Aedan loves her bath time. She becomes so relaxed in the water and likes to kick her little legs in the bubbles. She gets doe-eyed and it makes our hearts warm with love for her. Her gaze can pierce right through you. I give her a baby massage with some organic lotion afterward and she seems to really respond to my touch.

Well, there is some squirming and fussing going on right now so I better go see to my little one. She's become quite the voracious eater of late. I'll keep you posted on how our appointment goes tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed that we are lucky and skate right through.

A Fortnight and A Poo

2010-10-03T01:07:00.000-07:00

Aedan is 2 weeks old today and is still the most wonderful baby. To ring her birthday in right, she had her first poo followed by a second a few hours later. Her only crying fits ever are when she has too much gas. I wish I could say the same about her mommy.

I'm been struggling to keep it together. Not being with all my belongings and unable to care for Aedan the way I would at home is taking its toll. Not to mention the endless waiting. Our DNA test is on Tuesday. A date to which I have been counting down. After that, it is more days of waiting for the results to get a passport. On top of that another week or two or four to get the exit visa.

Aaron has been great talking me through the days. It is all a mind set and I am trying to get mine in correct frame. It could be the breastfeeding hormones that I am taking which cause me to feel anxious, frustrated, weepy and worried all at the same time. Or it could just be motherhood.

Regardless, I wouldn't change anything. We love Aedan with our whole hearts and would walk through fire for her. I just need to keep reminding myself that my time stuck here in this studio apartment will just be a blip on the chart of Aedan's life. It will soon be a distant memory and I will be wishing I had slowed down and enjoyed it more.

Handsome Girl

2010-09-29T05:47:00.000-07:00

We've had a couple of big days yesterday and today. We had passport and visa photos taken, picked up our original surrogacy documents from the clinic, got our DNA testing appointment set, saw the pediatrician for a check-up, went shopping at M-Block market and received Aedan's birth certificate.

At the photo shop, there was a man who was enamored with our little girl (he wanted to hold her hands), although, he thought she was a boy and I didn't have the heart to correct him. It's partly my fault because I dressed her in brown to match her mommy and she was wrapped in a cream-colored blanket. Another reason for his incorrect assumption is because she is the spitting image of her father as seen in this side by side comparison.

What you can't see on Aedan's outfit is the pink wording across her chest that says "Mommy adores me" which couldn't be more true. You can barely make out the pink rose and bow on the neckline below her chin. Still, she is definitely more handsome than conventionally pretty, just like her daddy.

Aaron insisted that I dress her in pink today so that everyone knew she was a girl while we were out. It didn't always work, though. Several people while shopping referred to her as a "he". Again, most everyone wanted a closer look. It must be good luck in India to touch a newborn because a lot of people will completely invade your space to near a baby.

Despite numerous attempts to schedule our DNA test for sooner, we have to wait until next Tuesday to go to the Embassy. The results have to be received back from the lab in the US before a passport can be issued and take about a week. Once we have a passport, we can then request an exit visa. That process usually only takes 3 business days, but has been taking longer if the Official requires an "inquiry" into our case. If that happens, our surrogate will have to be interviewed which can add at least a week to the normal time frame.

Aedan was seen by the doctor today for a blocked/infected tear duct, excessive gas (colic?) and a skin rash which can be caused by the heat and humidity. Basically, the sweat glands become clogged and can blister over. She was weighed as part of the exam and I'm happy to report that she hasn't lost any additional weight since the day we took her home which is only about 5% less than her birth weight. It is normally for babies to lose up to 10% in the first 10 days of life.

Now, if we can just get her to poop again (it's been 6 days) and start gaining weight. I never thought I would be praying so hard for a poopy diaper.

Happy 1st Week!

2010-09-26T05:36:00.000-07:00

I can't believe our baby girl is a week old today. We celebrated by going out to lunch at Punjab Grill and shopping at MotherCare in the CityWalk Mall. Aedan was on her best behavior and slept through the entire outing.

She gets a lot of attention from people when we're out and about which makes me nervous. I worry about germs and her immature immune system. People want to touch her and I feel overly protective... possessive, actually.

There is an outbreak of Dengue Fever in New Delhi because of the monsoons so Aaron has become quite the mosquito killer. We're on high bug alert here. No insect is safe.

We are both homesick. We've traveled a fair amount in the past, but the yearning to be home has never been stronger. We look forward to sleeping in our own bed with Aedan by our side.

Love, Sweet Love

2010-09-24T20:23:00.000-07:00

We've been very lucky. Aedan has been a dream come true. She eats every couple of hours and sleeps about 18-20 hours a day. She rarely cries. In fact, she has only truly cried a few times; vaccinations (twice), bath time (once) and gas pains (last night was a little rough for her).

Her birth certificate was typed up yesterday and sent to Ministry of External Affairs for the Apostille stamp. The Embassy has confirmed receipt of the DNA test kit and it is just a matter of getting the original BC back to take with us on our Birth Abroad appointment. Terry from the Christmas Eve Boys told us (we meet him, Steve and their twin boys at Phoenix Hospital the other day for vaccines) that DNA testing is only done on Fridays. I'm waiting to confirm with Nancy at the American Citizens Service if this is still the case.

If we have to wait until next Friday to apply for Aedan's passport, this will add a few days to our trip as the BC should be available on Tuesday. We're ready to go home and be with our friends and family. I can't wait to set up a routine which is hard to do in a little studio with not a lot of amenities. We don't have a baby bed or bath tub, but are making due with extra pillows we bought (makeshift bassinet on the king size bed) and the sink with washcloths.

We've been so blinded by love for our baby girl, that we keep forgetting to take real photos with our nice camera. We just grab our iPhones (lightweight and easy) to take random pics. Here are a few to share which show her preference of sleeping on her side:

Discharged Already

2010-09-22T03:40:00.000-07:00

After getting some much needed sleep last night at the end of almost 30 hours of traveling, we woke up refreshed and ready to see our baby. We got to the hospital and were able to hold little Aedan right away. They then told us she could go home with us later in the afternoon.

You can't tell in these pics, but both mommy and daddy had tears of joy in our eyes. After 18 years of marriage and over 10 years of trying to have a family, we finally have our firstborn child. What an amazing feeling!

Aedan is slightly unwrapped in this picture because Aaron just had to check out her entire body. He wanted to make sure she had all her parts; arms, fingers, legs, toes. Everything is accounted for and perfect.

She has the longest, daintiest fingers I've ever seen. Her temperament is very calm and mild. She has only truly cried once when they gave her a Hep B shot. She did grumble and complain a bit when they washed her head at bath time and then when they tried to put her socks on afterward. Other than that, she has been an absolute angel.

We are at complete peace and enjoy just watching her sleep. She has to go back to the hospital tomorrow for another vaccine and we're trying to set up an appointment with our lawyer to start the required paperwork for the Indian Exit visa. The birth certificate needs to be issued first which will take a few days.

The DNA test kit was already shipped from the States and should be arriving to the Embassy in New Delhi in the next day or two. Things are progressing along so quickly that we've hardly had time to fully process everything. I mean, we're parents for goodness sake!

First Photo Op

2010-09-20T04:00:00.000-07:00

We will forever be grateful to the wonderful Dr. Shivani and her team for helping bring our beautiful little girl into this world. We are wide awake at 4 in the morning and getting ready to get on a plane to go meet our daughter. What an absolutely amazing feeling! Aedan here we come...

A girl named Aedan

2010-09-19T11:45:00.000-07:00

We received a call from Dr. Shivani at 9:30 this morning that our baby girl was born via c-section just moments before. She said that all the nurses are saying she is absolutely beautiful (I bet they say that to all the new parents).

We got another call about an hour later stating that she weighs 2.6 kilograms or about 5 3/4 pounds and has all 10 fingers and 10 toes. Please join us in welcoming our new little bundle of joy:

Aedan Beryl Kirkpatrick

Her first name is the traditional Irish spelling of Aiden which means "born of fire" and her middle name is after my Grandmother who passed away 4 years ago from brain cancer. Beryl was my Nana's middle name and means "light green". It was given to her in honor of her mother's maiden name of Burrell (and pronounced the same way). It is also a Sanskrit word for "to become pale" so it has an Indian origin, too.

We should be getting an email update with more information and pics later tonight. When I spoke to Dr. Shivani the first time, our surrogate was still in the operating room. Both she and Aedan were doing well. I hope to have more information later so stay tuned...

We're in labor???

2010-09-19T04:01:00.000-07:00

I was trying to use my mobile phone to make a post, but it doesn't like me very much this early in the morning. I just received the following email message:

[Surrogate] has stated leaking -- prelbur ruur of membranes

She is on CTG monitring to keep a strict watch on the babies heart rate

We are awaiting spontanoeus labour

She is on antibiotics

If she doesnt start labour then she will be induced to prevent the risk of infection

Will update re her status tomorrow

Dr Shivani

Our flight is not until Monday morning and we don't arrive to New Delhi until Tuesday night so hopefully our SM can hang on till we get there...

I can't believe we're having a baby! :)

Full Term

2010-09-15T19:04:00.000-07:00

We've finally reached 37 weeks which is considered "full term". If our SM goes into labor, our baby's lungs should be mature enough to adjust to the outside world without medical intervention. I can't believe we leave in 5 days to go meet our son or daughter who will hopefully be born soon after we arrive. We had a rough few days with some last minute misunderstandings that had to be worked through, but it all got resolved and rather promptly, I might add.

I just received my official invitation to the first baby shower which is scheduled for October 17th. My mom and sisters are throwing it in my hometown as a debut so we really need to get all of our legal paperwork processed quickly in order to make it home in time. We are getting another shower at a later date (possibly November) in the city where we live now with all my girlfriends.

I already have the "baby bag" packed with all the blankets, onesies, socks, etc that I think we'll need. We plan on packing our own bags this weekend. I guess we need to bring umbrellas and slickers as it's been raining cats and dogs in New Delhi due to the monsoon season. I think we're going to have a lot of luggage...

Honey, do!

2010-09-03T21:36:00.000-07:00

There s/he is! Our baby! Measuring 33 weeks and 5 days and weighing in at just over 5 pounds (which is on the small size for his/her actual gestational age of 35 Weeks), roughly the weight of a honeydew melon. The heart rate is 136 BPM and the body is in cephalic presentation or head down in the pelvis.

This scan included Doppler of the umbilical, middle cerebral and uterine arteries. All of which are normal and without increased resistance which would indicate pre-eclampsia. The cord does not appear to be wrapped the neck, which is good. I was born that way and it was so tight that I was purple!

Dr. Shivani says that our surrogate is not expected to go into labor anytime soon (her cervix is not dilated yet) and is doing well. In fact, Jojo over at Flight of the Humble Bee - who welcomed her baby, Griffin, into the world a few weeks ago - left this comment on my last blog post:

"I just met your surrogate! She's lovely - very pretty and always smiling. She was glowing and looked really, really well. And her tummy was big!"

This was such a lovely look into what is happening half-way around the world (thanks Jo!). It makes this seem that much more real. We are definitely in countdown mode. My mom emails me every few days with a reminder of when we are leaving.

So, as of today, we only have 17 days left before we fly out and I am completely ready. The nursery is set up, the baby clothes have been washed and the car seat is installed. My to-do checklist is mostly checked off. I basically just need to pack our bags and we're out the door!

Catching Up!

2010-08-07T19:09:00.000-07:00

Our little one is growing by leaps and bounds. S/he is finally measuring about right for his/her age instead of running a week behind. Per the scan we received today, s/he weighs a little over 3 1/2 pounds with a heart rate of 132 BPM. Everything appears to be normal and healthy. Here are pics of the body in profile (I think), head and belly.

We have the nursery almost completely finished. We just need a glider in the corner of the room for rocking our baby to sleep. We bought a stroller today along with some newborn onesies in gender neutral colors. We couldn't pass up a couple of pink and blue outfits, though, as well. If we don't use them, we'll hand them down to another lucky couple.

Oh, and Aaron couldn't resist buying this, too. There are matching booties that aren't in the photo. Technically, his family is Scottish, but they immigrated to Ireland at one point long ago. I told him there is Irish in my side of the family so it's not a complete lie. :)

One Year Ago Today...

2010-08-04T20:16:00.000-07:00

...I first emailed Dr. Shivani Sachdev-Gour inquiring about surrogacy with her clinic. We had originally contacted Dr. Patel in Anand back in April 2009 and then Surrogacy India in Mumbai a few months later. Ultimately, we chose to go with Surrogacy Centre India in New Delhi because of price and, of course, the good doctor herself.

It may sound strange, but I got the warmest feeling about Dr. Shivani from our email exchanges and from watching videos of her posted on one of the forums. She seemed well educated and very approachable. I had the sense that she would be caring, honest and capable. I was right!

Today we are at 31 Weeks and our baby is about 3.3 pounds (roughly the weight of 4 navel oranges). We are getting so close that we decided to purchase our airline tickets. We leave September 20th which is only 7 weeks away.

That's right, folks. We're having a baby next month. Wahoo! I've started to accumulate and organize all our legal paperwork so we don't have to stay longer than a couple of weeks in India. Hopefully, we'll have all of our ducks in a row so we can just get in and get out. I'm ready to start the next chapter in our lives!

It's a...

2010-07-08T20:50:00.000-07:00

We returned last night from a week at the lake with my in-laws in Idaho near Canada which is beautiful part of the country, by the way. As they were driving us to the airport to come back home I said, "It could just be the the caffeine from my coffee (I usually drink herbal tea or decaf), but I've got this feeling of excited anticipation." On a whim, I decided to check the email on my phone. Sure enough, there was a message from Dr. Shivani with a scan which was a week earlier than expected per the normal schedule of one every four weeks.

There were two pics with measurements; one of the head and the other of the abdomen. His or her noggin is still slightly bigger than the belly and s/he is also running about a week behind in growth as the gestational age is only 26 weeks when we are actually at Week 27. And then there was this shot...

I've shown it to a few people who seem to think that it is the placenta at the top with the umbilical cord leading to the stomach in the middle and the uterus at the bottom. I'm not sure exactly what it is. What do you think?

Rutabaga?

2010-06-22T21:12:00.000-07:00

Yep, our baby is approaching the size of the root vegetable that is a cross between a cabbage and a turnip. Meaning, s/he weighs about 1 1/2 pounds (almost doubled from 4 weeks ago) and measures approximately 2 1/2 inches in diameter at the stomach and 3 inches at the head. His/her body is gaining baby fat so the skin is becoming more smooth and less wrinkled.

The scan shows lots of movements (both active and passive), but the heart rate was a steady 136 beats per minute. Thankfully, there is nothing abnormal or alarming to report. The placenta has moved another 4mm away from the cervix so the low-lying position is less concerning, at least to me.

We have lots of plans for the summer and know that the next 3 months are going to fly by. Next thing you know, we'll be traveling half-way around the world again to pick up our little one. In only a little over 3 weeks (Week 28), the chance of survival if our SM goes into premature labor and delivers is 90% which is a huge milestone in my mind.

I'm already in countdown mode. Is it too soon?

Baby Bump Pics!

2010-06-13T17:36:00.000-07:00

I sent an email to Dr. Shivani on Friday night just checking in and made a comment about how our SM's belly must be getting big because she is almost 6 months along now. She replied:

"Will ask Laxmi to organise belly pictures and take [her] pictures when she comes next. She is very slim still but tummy is big!"

So, we were thinking we'd get to see a photo when we get our latest scan next week. We were thrilled to receive not one, but several pictures from various angles this morning.

Our SM seems very happy and healthy. She is literally GLOWING! We both looked at each other and said:

"Wow! These make it so much more real."

We will be at 24 weeks next Wednesday and, since we plan on being in Delhi at Week 37, only have a little over 3 months until we leave for baby pick-up. We are already booked for a 3-week stay at Lotus Apartments in one of the studios. We haven't purchased airline tickets yet, but Aaron is monitoring prices and itineraries.

Our little son or daughter is in here safe and sound. We can't wait to meet him or her. It is really happening! WOOT!

Fetal Soft Markers

2010-05-27T22:17:00.000-07:00

I finally had a chance to review the radiologist's report in detail, looking up all the terminology in Google to decipher the meaning in layman's terms. Most of it I already knew from the research I did for our Week 14 and 16 scans, but some of it was new to me.

"The fetal head shows normal ventricular system (lateral ventricle - 5mm and cisterna magna - 5mm). The posterior fossa is normal. The fetal spine, limbs, cord insertion, 3 vessel cord, KUB, 4 chamber view of heart, stomach bubble show no apparent abnormality. The umbilical artery and ductus venosus shows positive diastolic flow. No notching is seen in uterine arteries."

Dr. Jolly also checked for the following:

- nuchal fold >2mm (translucent area at back of neck measured for Downs Syndrome)

- short femur [hip to knee] and humerus [shoulder to elbow] bones (more predictors of DS)

- echogenic intracardiac focus (small deposits of calcium in the heart muscle)

- hydronephrosis (distension of the kidney caused by an obstructed urine flow)

- echogenic bowel (increased brightness that may signify Cystic Fibrosis)

Thankfully, all of the above "soft" markers are absent. Whew! The placenta is still low-lying, but is measuring 22mm from the cervix which appears to be acceptable depending on what you read. Some sites say the distance needs to be at least 20mm and others state that the measurement should be more in the range of 25-30mm. I'm not going to worry about it, though, as the placenta can continue to stretch upward as the weeks pass.

Our baby weighs 337 grams which is about 3/4 of a pound and his/her heart beat is a steady 144 BPM. Of our last 4 scans, the heart rate as been 144 in all but one at Week 16 when it was 140. If you believe the old wives tale, we're having a girl. I think we are so close to the cut-off of 140 that it could really go either way. Of course, we'll be as pleased as punch regardless of the gender!

Over Halfway There

2010-05-20T17:02:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of posts lately and the brevity of this one. We are traveling in Canada (Aaron is working and I'm tagging along for fun) and have limited internet access. We were expecting a report for Week 20 on Friday per the schedule provided by the clinic coordinator, however we received a surprise email while waiting in the airport on a layover this morning.

So, without further ado, here are pics of our beautiful baby:

3D of the face and hand

Profile of head and body

Skull and spinal column

I haven't had a chance to thoroughly review the radiologist's report with all the measurements and milestones but, everything appears normal at first glance. I'll post again once I've analyzed all the medical mumbo-jumbo and feel at ease that all is completely well.

The email message from Dr. Shivani is very reassuring, though. It reads:

"Tjudle, time sure flies! Can see what your baby looks like -- so sweet! Belated Happy Birthday :)"

Yep, that's right folks. Yesterday marked another year in my life on this earth. Receiving our latest scan has been the best present ever! The gift of this little life growing by leaps and bounds halfway across the world is the most precious thing I've ever been given. I can't thank our surrogate, our egg donor, our doctor and my husband enough. I am truly blessed this year!

Hello/Goodbye

2010-04-21T19:51:00.000-07:00

Hello, there! Woke up to a surprise scan in my email in-box this morning. We had agreed to go every 3-4 weeks between ultrasounds so I wasn't expecting anything for another week or two, but I'll take them whenever I can get them. Especially if they are good news!

Our baby's head shows a normal ventricular system and posterior fossa which is a small space in the skull containing the brain stem and cerebellum. The spine, limbs, 3 vessel cord (AKA umbilical cord with 2 arteries and 1 vein), cord insertion, kidneys, ureters, bladder, 4 heart chambers and stomach bubble don't show any signs of obvious abnormality. Both active and passive movements were seen.

This is the first report we've received since we found out that we were pregnant that didn't mention the 2nd gestational sac. We will never forget the twin that was and never will be, even as s/he is vanishing before our eyes. Goodbye, little one. You were dearly loved.

Our Little Lemon

2010-04-06T21:40:00.000-07:00

We finally received our scan today and all is well despite our SM's hospitalization for fever. Plus we are officially in the 2nd trimester. Yay!

Our baby is measuring 14 weeks and 1 day which is right on track. The placenta is still "low-lying" and the other sac with a small fetus is still visible, but without a heart beat. Nothing else unusual to report.

Some big developments happened last week. S/he is 3.5 inches long and weighs about 1.5 ounces - roughly the size of a lemon - which is 3 times as long and more than 50 times as heavy in just 5 weeks. The arms have almost reached their final proportion to the rest of the body, although the legs are still quite short. The kidneys are producing urine which is excreted into the amniotic fluid. All of the teeth or tooth buds have formed in the gums and, due to the development of the facial muscles, our baby can make breathing, sucking and swallowing motions.

This week, the limbs become more flexible and active such as making a fist, punching, moving the thumbs, bending at the wrists, kicking and curling or fanning the toes. S/he also starts growing hair all over its body with the hair pattern of the scalp being determined. The heart will pump about 25 quarts of blood a day which will increase to 300 by birth. Wow!

Instead of getting scans every two weeks, we've decided to go every 3-4 since things seem to be progressing well and this makes it easier on our SM (not to mention the Prenatal Diagnostic Technicians) to not have so many appointments. Hopefully, she'll be able to just relax and enjoy the pregnancy. A happy SM equals a happy baby.

We've Moved!

2010-04-04T20:54:00.000-07:00

Sorry for being offline for the last two weeks. We have been busy moving to a bigger house (one with a room for the baby) and I haven't had access to or time for the internet. I was hoping to post pics and an update from our latest scan this weekend, but we haven't received anything yet.

Apparently, our SM had a bladder infection ("bugs" in her urine culture) and was admitted to the hospital with a fever last week. She was given antibiotics and eventually sent home to recuperate. Because of the hospitalization, her scan - which was supposed to be this past Friday - has been delayed. We are waiting for info on the rescheduled date.

I want to thank everyone for all the words of sympathy via blog comments, forum messages and personal emails regarding the loss of one of the twins. Even if I haven't responded directly, we truly appreciate your support and encouragement. It is comforting to know you are all out there and wishing us the best.

A New Day

2010-03-18T21:06:00.000-07:00

We received an unscheduled scan this morning showing our singleton baby is alive and well. Baby T (the twin with arrested development) is still present with no heart beat and measuring only 8 weeks. Baby A - with a heart rate of 144 BPM - had several measurements done to calculate gestational age:

Last Menstrual Period (LMP) - 11 weeks, 6 days

Biparietal Diameter (BPD) - 12 weeks, 2 days

Head Circumference (HC) - 12 weeks, 1 day

Ultrasound (USG) - 12 weeks, 1 day

The USG is the final determination of age by the radiologist using the 3 other measurements as a guide. He also measured the fluid under the skin at the back of the neck which is called a nuchal translucency scan. It measures 0.8mm which is a good indication that the baby does not appear to be at risk for Down's syndrome (over 2mm). Oh, and the nasal bone can be seen.

The only slightly concerning thing was that the tip of the placenta is close to the internal cervical orifice of the uterus. Although, Dr. Jolly considers it "low lying" right now and not marginal. Marginal Previa is when the edge of the placenta lies at the margin and may be exposed during dilatation during birth. In Low-lying, the placenta is implanted in the lower uterine segment but does not reach the cervix.

We aren't sure, but this may have been the 12-week scan which we weren't expecting until next week since it has only been 5 days since our 10-week scan. Regardless, we were pleasantly surprised to receive this report and can't wait for the next update. It is so amazing how quickly our little one has grown in such a short time.

I am feeling a little guilty for saying how unlucky we were not to be expecting twins. We are luckier than most in this journey through surrogacy and I didn't mean to take away from those who do not even get to the point where we are in the process. I think we can all say that we feel or have felt your pain when things don't go as hoped. It stings... most definitely.

We are thinking of our lovely SM (always) and hope she is feeling well. I can't imagine what she is going through and we are honored to have her in our lives. I pray that she is not having to deal with any discomfort or is too traumatized by the vanishing twin situation. God bless her heart and her belly.

Life is Fragile

2010-03-14T00:09:00.000-08:00

We received our U/S report yesterday. Sadly, it only showed one live baby in one of the gestational sacs. The other sac had a small fetus with no cardiac activity. Shortly after our last scan, it seems that Baby T stopped developing. Baby A appears to be healthy, though, with a heart rate of 136 BPM and measuring 32mm (as seen above).

We are deeply disappointed and are mourning the loss of a life that could have been. It hurts and my heart is heavy with sorrow. Aaron has been appealing to my rational mind all day with comments like, "There was something wrong." or "At least we still have one.", but my emotions continue to get the better of me.

I know I should feel blessed because it could have been worse. We could have lost both babies. Although this makes perfect sense to my reasoning self, I can't help but lament the end of the dream of our lives with two children all at once after years and years of struggling to start a family. How could we have been so lucky? I guess we weren't.

All we can do now is focus our energy and love into the sole survivor. I pray that h/she continues to grow and thrive in their little parcel. Only time will tell, of course. We must wait patiently another two weeks for another scan and then we will be that much closer to the 2nd trimester where the odds of live birth increase substantially albeit with no guarantees.

Until then, we remain open to this journey and vulnerable to mother nature. We are willing to suffer a little (or a lot) to learn the lessons life teaches. To love and be loved and move on towards the future - which in our case is parenthood - is all one can do.

Strong Women. Strong Babies.

2010-02-26T21:52:00.000-08:00

The two weeks since my last post have been difficult. Since the joyous announcement of our double blessing, some people near and dear to me have received distressing news or have had to continue to deal with weighty issues. These women have handled themselves with such dignity and determination that I can't help but be amazed and inspired.

First, my mother (she's at the top of the list 'cause she's my mom) discovered a tumor in her abdomen. Because she is a breast cancer survivor and due to the size of the mass, she has to have surgery next week and will likely have to endure chemotherapy again.

Second, my mother-in-law (who sends us baby stuff daily) was recently diagnosed with breast cancer after surviving Stage IV ovarian cancer several years ago. She is currently undergoing chemo and all the awful side effects that go with it. She then has to have a double mastectomy in a few months.

Last, the fiancé of my co-worker (and friend/dance-partner outside of work) has been battling cancer for a year now and she has been by his side through it all. He just had yet another surgery and she is again his faithful nurse and ever-present caretaker.

These three women have been on my mind constantly and I wanted to give a "shout-out" to them for their courageousness. You have not gone unnoticed, girls. I see you.

While looking for a sincere quote or poem that would capture my feelings about their strength and resolve, I came across this:

"I am woman! I am invincible! I am pooped!" ~ Author Unknown

I made me laugh out loud and I smile every time I read the last sentence. I think it best fits the true sentiments of being a woman. It especially resonates with me as a soon-to-be (okay, okay... 7 months is still a long time left to go) mother of twins which I've heard can be exhausting.

After giving props to the ladies, I have to fill you all in on the latest scan of our babies. Here are their mug shots and stats at Week 8.

Baby T measures 17 mm - which equates to 8 weeks and 1 day - with a heart rate of 176 bpm. Baby A is 16 mm - 8 weeks even - at 152 bpm. My favorite line from the report: "two well-defined gestational sacs containing live embryos".

Now, I just need to get Dr. Jolly, the radiologist (and his real last name, BTW), to use the word "parcels" instead of "sacs" when documenting his findings. Somehow, though, I don't think he'd take me seriously.

A & T, not A & B

2010-02-14T09:58:00.000-08:00

There they are. Our little sacs or "parcels" - as we like to call them - which is a nod to the movie Green Card with Gérard Depardieu and Andie MacDowell when they are telling the story of how they met (to an immigration officer investigating their marriage of convenience), making it up as they go:

"As a matter of curiosity, how did you two meet? I'm sure it was very romantic.

We... You go ahead.

- Well, uh... No, you, please.

We just... Please, you...

- We sort of crashed into each other. Boom! Like that.

Goodness.

- Yes, I was, uh, carrying a lot of parcels, and...

Parcels?

- Yes, parcels. And then I-I picked them up, and...

A-A-And... And Anton... Don't forget about Anton.

- Ah, Anton, yes.

He was with Georges, and I knew him.

- Anton, yes. Yes, he also helped pick up the parcels.

Yes, but the point is, darling, is that he introduced us.

- Oh, that's right. He did. He did, yes. Anton.

And?

- Well...

So, and...

- Ah, it was raining. And, uh...

Oh, yes! We got soaked.

- I took one of her parcels when I picked up mine.

Oh, you had parcels too? Ah.

Uh, everyone had parcels.

- So many parcels. So, uh, I-I-I... I picked up one of hers.

By mistake.

- Yes, so I had, uh, my parcels... and, uh, her parcel... and I was, uh... staggering around, like this."

Anyway, a very funny scene from a classic romantic comedy. So, back to the story of our two parcels.

I've decided to refer to them as Baby A and Baby T - after Aaron and I, natch - instead the usual letters A and B. The reason being is that I like to think of them as Mini-Me's (I guess I'm on a movie kick today) or, rather, Mini-Us's.

Here is an excerpt from the radiologist's report from our scan on Friday:

"The uterus is anteverted and shows two well-defined gestational sacs [AKA parcels] containing live embryos. The individual yolk sacs are normal. Decidual reaction is adequate.

Twin I [AKA Baby A] (HR- 118 Bpm)
The CRL measures 3 mm, which corresponds to 5 weeks, 6 day.

Twin II [AKA Baby T] (HR- 129 Bpm)
The CRL measures 3 mm, which corresponds to 6 weeks, 0 day."

We are absolutely thrilled albeit a little nervous. I've become a protective mother hen over these little chicks already. Actually, a lioness and cubs may be a more apropos analogy because I'm feeling kinda fierce. They just seem so fragile right now.

Happily, Aaron gets home from Idaho tonight just in time for Valentine's Day. It's been lonely here this past week without him. I can't wait to give a big hug and sloppy, wet kiss in celebration of passing yet another major surrogacy milestone; heart beats.

I'm hoping Cupid's arrow finds its way into the hearts of all of you on this special day of love and companionship.

Sesame Seeds & Lentils

2010-02-09T20:38:00.000-08:00

I returned home from Idaho on Sunday by myself since Aaron is spending another week with his parents. Just a few more days until we get the results of the scan that checks for heartbeats. In my downtime, I have been researching and learning about our developing babies. It is so amazing what is happening half-way around the world in our SM's womb.

Between last week's scan (which showed two well-defined gestational sacs; one with a visible yolk sac) and this week's, our little "tadpoles" will grow from the size of sesame seeds to about the size of lentil beans. At the end of the first 30 days, each embryo will measure 6-7mm. During this time, the three layers that are present begin to transform into organs and tissues.

The ectoderm gives rise to the brain, spinal cord, nerves, backbone, skin, hair, nails, mammary and sweat glands, and tooth enamel. The mesoderm forms the heart, circulatory system, muscles, cartilage, bone and subcutaneous tissue. The endoderm houses the lungs, intestines, urinary system, thyroid, liver and pancreas.

This week, facial features - such as nose, mouth, eyes and ears - begin to develop and buds that will form arms, legs and lungs start to emerge. Their tiny, primitive hearts have already divided into chambers and are (or should be) pumping blood throughout their ever-growing bodies. Truly a miracle of life.

Is it possible to already love something that is less than 1/4 of an inch long? Well, maybe love is a strong word, but I definitely get warm and fuzzy feelings when I read about their development and think about them safely tucked away in the belly of our lovely SM. My heart is full of affection and deep appreciation.

Doubly Blessed

2010-02-05T17:21:00.000-08:00

"There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: Twins." ~ Josh Billings

"It's double the giggles and double the grins, and double the trouble if you're blessed with twins." ~ Author Unknown

"We came into the world like brother and brother; And now let's go hand in hand, not one before another." ~ William Shakespeare

Our SM's scan was Friday at 2:30 pm (in Delhi) which was 1:00 am today for us. So, we were awakened by a text at 4:50 am (our time) from Dr. Shivani, "Twins!". We replied immediately, "Awesome! :)".

We both slept like crap the night before (Thursday) thinking we'd get a message about the scan in the middle of the night. Every time either one of our phones made the slightest - perceptible or imagined - noise, we'd jump out of bed to check. In the morning we said to each other, "No news is good news, right?".

We thought, "Maybe the test was delayed? Or the results were still pending?" We were on pins and needles. After sending and receiving a few emails yesterday, we found out that the scan was not exactly one week from the pregnancy test as we had assumed. Our bad.

We don't have any additional information yet, but will probably be receiving a copy of the full report early in the week. The next scan will be at the end of next week which will determine if there are heartbeats and fetal poles in each of our two gestational sacs. Then, we have to wait another two weeks for an additional scan to absolutely "confirm live pregnancy".

This morning was spent making phone calls and sending messages out to our loved ones who have been rooting for us all these years. Screams of delight, sighs of relief and tears of joy were shared with all. After the sheer elation and outright excitement passed, the exhaustion from lack of sleep for two nights in a row set in.

I guess interrupted slumber is just something we'll have to get used to with two babies on the way...

BFFFFP!!!

2010-01-28T11:14:00.000-08:00

Yep, you heard me (it's my blog so I'm allowed to curse). We have a Big Fat Freakin', Flippin', Frackin', F'ing Positive! I was so worried last night I wouldn't be able to sleep that I took a sleeping pill at around 11pm. Basically, I was in la-la-land and missed Dr. Shivani's first two attempts at contacting us with the good news:

Text at 12:59am - "281 cheers :)"
Email at 2:054am - " Good news preg test is positive value is 281"
Call at 3:12am - "Did you get my messages?" (You can imagine the rest of the convo.)

Of course, the phone ringing (or rather, vibrating loudly since I had the ringer off) in the middle of the night will definitely get your heart pumping, let me tell you. Both Aaron and I woke up in an adrendaline induced sweat. I then texted and called all the VIP's in my life with the annoucement, "We're pregnant!".

We are extremely happy with our beta HCG number as it denotes either a strong singleton (48 is average with 17 being low and 119 being high) or possibly a twin pregnancy (56 low, 68 average and 313 high). In general, HCG levels will increase by at least 60% every 2-3 days, but ideally double every 48-72 hours.

In one week from today, Dr. Shivani will be performing a scan on our SM. At about week 3 or 4 (fetal age), a yolk sac can be seen inside the gestational sac on U/S before a recognizable embryo can be detected. The yolk sac is the earliest source of nutrients for the developing baby.

Needless to say, we are ecstatic beyond words or belief. I'm on cloud 9 and am having trouble concentrating at work today. Good thing we have a much needed vacation planned starting this Saturday. We're heading up to my in-law's in beautiful, snowy Idaho. Nothing but rest, relaxation and hot cocoa for one full week. Life is good!

Virtuous Patience

2010-01-25T19:47:00.000-08:00

"Patience can conquer destiny." ~ Irish saying

"The principal part of faith is patience." ~ George McDonald

"One minute of patience, ten years of peace." ~ Greek proverb

"Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet." ~ Jean-Jacques Rousseau

"Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Only a few days left until our PG test and we are both surprisingly calm...dare I say, peaceful. I think we are resigned to the fact that no amount of anxiety or worry will change the outcome at this point. Still, we truly appreciate all the warm wishes and encouraging words we've received from everyone. Baby dust and crossed fingers can only help, not hurt. :)

All Eggs: One Basket

2010-01-18T16:38:00.000-08:00

Sadly, the remaining 4 embryos that were not transferred fresh could not frozen for future use as they were "extremely poor quality" due to "severe fragmentation". This means that all our hopes are riding on the 4 Grade I's that were placed inside our surrogate a few days ago. We were told that her endometrial lining was 11mm in thickness which is really good since anything less than 6 or more than 15 can pose problems.

Just because we had 4 embies transferred into our SM, doesn't mean we are guaranteed to get pregnant. Not all will implant and not every implantation results in a fetus. The success rates with our clinic are higher than at others, however, (the reality is) a lot is up to chance. Here are the statistics for Dr. Shivani and Surrogacy Centre India:

"The success rate for any surrogacy treatment with any clinic will depend on the age of the intended mother, her fertility hormone test results and the quality of embryos she produces. With assistance from a young Indian donor and surrogate mother our fresh transfer success rate is 50 per cent live birth. Frozen embryo transfer success rates are around 40 per cent with good quality embryos where the genetic mother is less than 35 years of age. When comparing success rate statistics between clinics please ensure the rates quoted are for live birth, not pregnancy."

We knew going in that the odds are about fifty-fifty and we're mentally prepared for the worst. That said, we both feel like fortune will smile on us come the 28th. We get the sense that, not only will we be pregnant, we will become the proud parents of twins. Hey! Call us crazy if you must, but we think it's important to stay positive and visualize the results we want. Ten days and counting...

"good luck2us!"

2010-01-16T19:45:00.000-08:00

Thus ended a text I received earlier today from Dr. Shivani. In it, she confirmed that 4 "excellent" embryos were transferred. We don't know the exact grading (A/I, B/II or C/III) yet, but are hopeful that they were all A+. We are also waiting to find out the endometrial lining measurement of our SM. The thickness should have been at least 8mm to optimize implantation.

In an update email yesterday, we were told that 8 of our 10 eggs fertilized which is a fairly high percentage. We should know tomorrow if any of the remaining 4 embies are worth freezing, depending on their quality. Any that were not transferred fresh are allowed to further develop so that the cells continue to divide and begin to form a morula or even a blastocyst. I believe this is because only 65-70% of embryos survive the thawing process and, of those, only 30-35% have all cells viable. So having a few more days to grow before cryopreservation is probably a good thing.

The pregnancy test is 14 days from EPU and 12 days from ET so...drum roll, please...we should know if we are having a baby (or babies) on January 28th. We are in our 2WW and loving it!

A Perfect 10

2010-01-14T18:56:00.000-08:00

I received a text message this afternoon:

"10 eggs icsi done"

So, I guess the 10 follicles that showed up on the initial scan all turned into eggs; no more, no less. We don't know how many were "mature", but we are hoping for a good fertilization rate. We'd like some frozen embryos left over in case we don't get a positive result on the first try.

I have to admit that I am a little disappointed. After recently seeing blog/forum accounts of 25 and even 35 eggs from donors, I was hoping for more. Maybe I'm too greedy. Aaron (ever the optimist to my realist - at least in the matters of surrogacy) said, "it only takes just one".

In search of uplifting experiences, I re-read a few posts tonight and came across a success story of IP's who got 10 eggs from their donor and are now pregnant. So, I am putting a request out there to all of you: my family, my friends, my followers and my fellow bloggers. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers over the next couple of days.

Our embryo transfer should be this Friday night (Saturday in India) so we need at least a few Grade A embies to develop by then. Then we'll officially be in the 2WW. We are trusting that 10 is the ideal number of us.

Check, check & check.

2010-01-11T20:33:00.000-08:00

We had an appointment today to have our signatures notarized on the contracts with our new SM. So, the agreements have been signed, sealed and shipped back to India for delivery in a few days. The notary (a friend of mine) even kissed the FedEx envelope for good luck.

Next up was to transfer funds to get us paid through to embryo transfer. It took a while at the bank because I happened to get a newbie who had never initiated a wire before. He had to call over another banker to get assistance and she happened to be from New Delhi. In fact, she grew up in the Greater Kailash neighborhood. Crazy coincidence, huh?

Finally, we received an email update from Dr. Shivani that our ED's scan showed approximately 10 follicles. I think there might another U/S in a couple of days to check the number eggs again before she receives her trigger shot of HCG. This means EPU could take place this Thursday. Yay!

It feels so good to have things moving in the right direction again. I love marking a tick next to the items on my "To-Do" list, especially when each task gets us one step closer to our ultimate goal - making a baby. All signs are pointing to Yes!

"I Have a Good Feeling"

2010-01-06T20:06:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, we found out that our SM is "spot on with response to meds - no problems" and "embryo transfer will be next week". However, there was no mention of our ED so I sent a follow-up email with more questions (of course). I received a response on Monday that our "donor has started stimulation [but] too early to predict egg collection -- will be next week sometime."

I am a bit of a control freak (see About Me as evidence) so receiving, what I consider to be, general information and not actual dates is a bit frustrating. I sent another message last night just to clarify a few things. We got word this morning that our ED started stimulation "three days ago yesterday, day four of meds today, follicle scan usually day 10."

Therefore, by my account, EPU and conception could possibly be on the 13th which happens to be Aaron's birthday. What a great gift that would be! We're both so excited that it is hard to contain. We just want this so bad.

I have to tell you that the title of this post is a direct quote from Dr. Shivani. She finished one of her emails with this message and it was just want I needed to hear. If your doctor is hopeful, it really helps your state of mind in this crazy process. Maintaining a positive attitude and conveying affirmative thoughts can lead to success, IMO.

New! New. New?

2010-01-01T19:12:00.001-08:00

I can't believe that we are now in 2010. This year has flown by with lots of ups and downs along the way. As the saying goes, "Life is a like roller-coaster". So, it's best if I just sit back and enjoy the ride 'cause I'm not getting off (voluntarily, that is) anytime soon.

We received word from Dr. Shivani late Wednesday that the cyst with SM F was no longer present, but that her hormone levels were a bit high. So, we have a new surrogate, SM P. We were supposed to get our "detailed schedule" later that day, however, we are still waiting to hear. I assume things are moving along and you know what that means - u, me, a**.

It seems crazy (in a fantastic way) that later this year we could possibly have a new little baby in our house...in my arms. It would be the best ending for this new beginning. Of the course the in-between time is equally as important, so we wait faithfully for more news.

I hope everyone sees their dreams, hopes and wishes fulfilled. I have a feeling it is going to be an auspicious year!

Darn Cyst

2009-12-27T21:26:00.000-08:00

We received a call yesterday from Dr. Shivani while we were out to breakfast with the family. She had news of mixed results from the suppression scans. Our egg donor is clear for stimulation, but our surrogate has a cyst. We were given two options; drain the cyst and wait 10-12 days or pick a new surrogate.

We wanted a day to think about it and asked that new profiles be sent in the meantime. After a "round-robin" discussion with my siblings at the table, we decided that we would choose a new surrogate. The general consensus was that the cyst may be a sign.

Tonight we received an email that Dr. Shivani is going to repeat the scan on Wednesday. If the cyst still remains, we will then go with our alternative choice. We are handling this minor setback quite well and are just anxious to move forward with our cycle as soon as possible without compromising our chances.

Our Happy 17th

2009-12-26T18:26:00.000-08:00

Today is our wedding anniversary. We met 18 years ago last October which means I have known my husband for half of my life. Here are just 17 reasons why I love him so much and why I'll be with him "till death do us part":

1) He works hard to provide for me.

2) He makes me laugh almost everyday.

3) He puts up with my infuriating behavior.

4) He gets "sexy breath" from eating garlic or onions.

5) He tells me when my butt looks too big in my jeans.

6) He reads to me when I am having trouble falling asleep.

7) He lets me "spoon" him in bed when my stomach is upset.

8) He sings "Cheer Up, Charlie" to me when I am sad and blue.

9) He is not embarrassed to cry or show emotion in front of me.

10) He takes me to see "chick flicks" and doesn't complain about it.

11) He turns my seat heater on in the car for me when it's cold outside.

12) He always holds my hand when we walk down the street or sit in the theater.

13) He can get lost in our own neighborhood because he has no sense of direction.

14) He plays video games, rides snowmobiles and loves ice cream like he's a 16-year-old.

15) He will exchange plates with me at a restaurant if I'm not enjoying what I ordered for myself.

16) He has pet names for me that are either naughty ("Sweet Tits") or just plain wrong ("Crack Whore").

17) He respects and believes in me as a woman, as his partner, as his wife and as the mother of his children.

Actual Dates

2009-12-20T18:31:00.000-08:00

December is a pretty eventful time for us as my granddad, dad, sister, brother and nephew were all born this month. It is also the month Aaron and I got married. After spending a wonderful day with my family, we came home to the following email from Dr. Shivani:

"F is due for her suppression scan this week and so is the donor. If all well, I will start stimulation of the donor by 28/12/09 and egg collection expected Jan 10/01/2010 and pregnancy test 2 weeks later."

It is extremely satisfying to have actual dates to look forward to. The embryo transfer will take place two days after egg pick-up and the BETA is 2 weeks from the EPU date, not ET. So, our cycle will be a little later than I initially figured.

For those wondering, a "suppression scan" is an ultrasound of the uterus for the surrogate and the ovaries for the egg donor. Both women have been on medication to keep them from menstruating and ovulating. The scans will check for any abnormalities which would delay or cancel our cycle. If everything is okay, stimulation will begin in eight days. Woo hoo!

4 Weeks...Give or Take

2009-12-11T18:44:00.000-08:00

The latest news is that our chosen surrogate has agreed to cycle for us. Both she (SM F) and our egg donor (ED M) are on oral contraceptives (BCP) and are ready for "down regulation". From what I understand, there are two phases. The first is a pre-treatment phase and the second is the stimulation phase.

Both M and F will continue on BCP for a couple of weeks to help time the events of the IVF procedure and then the medications (stims) will start. M will take drugs to increase her egg production and F will take ones to build up her uterine lining. A few days after M stops BCP, she should get her period and egg pick-up (EPU) can be anywhere from 10 to 14 days after that, depending on her response to the stims. Then the eggs are fertilized and, 2 to 3 days later, the embryos are transferred (ET) to F.

So, for the sake of argument, we could have a New Year's conception with an estimated due date (EDD) of October 8th. The pregnancy test (BETA) would be the 2nd week in January and we might actually get a big, fat positive (BFP). What a great start to 2010 that would be!

New ED and SM update

2009-12-06T16:56:00.000-08:00

I received a message from our case manager last Thursday night that the 2nd Indian egg donor (ED M) we chose is available:

"M is ready to go. She is on the pill and it's just a matter of waiting for periods, and starting. She may be able to do a shorter protocol, so meds will take 2 weeks instead of four from date of period. M x"

Then, this morning I had the following email waiting for me from our doctor:

"Update : Donor ready to start downreg as already on contraceptives

Surrogates: have approached F -- was supposed to come and meet me with her husband -- didnt turn up-- will call tomorrow and find out whats going on. If all ok then will request her to get started depending on where she is in her cycle. If not then have suitable alternatives to offer no problems. Hope you both are well and Aaron recovered. Weather in Delhi still same doesnt get any better. Best wishes Dr. Shivani"

So, it looks like our original surrogate (SM F) may not work out, but it is too early to tell for sure. There may be a very good reason that she and her husband missed their scheduled meeting. Heck, I've been known to miss a few appointments myself in the past. Time and unforeseen occurrence can befall us all. I'm going to try and not read too much into it.

Regardless, we are one step closer to starting a cycle. We should have actual dates sometime next week. Conception may finally happen before the end of the year!

Plan J

2009-12-01T20:36:00.000-08:00

Yep. We've hit another bump in the road on journey to become parents. Sometimes hearing that "things happen for a reason" seems like a slap in the face when every plan you've made goes awry.

Plan A - Get pregnant naturally, have a baby and live happily ever after? Didn't happen.

Plan B - Take clomid to help sick ovaries produce lots of eggs? Nope.

Plan C - Try IVF with own sad eggs? Negative.

Plan D & E - How about IVF with donated eggs from older sister...twice? Uh uh.

Plan F - Adopt a baby? Nien.

Plan G - Surrogacy in India with donated eggs from younger sister? Negatory.

Plan H - How about donated eggs from a family friend? Nix.

Plan I - Donation from an Indian woman with a proven track record? No.

Plan J - Eggs from a first-timer donor in India? Please God, say yes...

We found out this morning that our initial, chosen Indian ED is not keen to donate again after several previous cycles. Major bummer!

We received 5 new profiles from Dr. Shivani to review and have narrowed them down to 2 candidates. Now we are just waiting for more information on 1 of them so we can make our final decision. The good news is that we might be able to cycle sooner than January.

Realistically, I know that there will probably be more setbacks or disappointments before we actually get our baby, but it takes a toll on my emotions each time things don't go in our favor. I pray that I am strong enough to make it all the way through till the end.

We're Baack!

2009-11-27T21:37:00.000-08:00

We landed in LA at 10 am on Wednesday, drove home and arrived at about 2 pm. It took everything I had not to fall right into bed. We went through the mail, checked messages then turned on the telly. I ended up falling asleep from about 4 to 6 pm on the couch. Oops!

Because I'm still fighting this cold/flu, I took NyQuil at around 9 pm and hit the sack. We slept until 12:30 pm the next day, just in time to shower and get ready for the hour drive to my mom's for turkey. We both have never slept so much at one time in our entire marriage.

After dinner with the fam, we watched the vids and looked at the pics we took on our trip. India is an incredible place with so much character. Reading about the country doesn't quite prepare one for the experience of being there. I'm just sorry that we spent a huge chunk of our time there stuck in our hotel room.

In my last meeting with Dr. Shivani, she told me that we are still on track for a mid-January cycle. She has all she needs from us (or rather, Aaron) and is just waiting to confirm a few things. She mentioned that our original SM may be available again because the cycle she was doing with other IP's was canceled.

It seems like things are just falling into place, finally. Fingers crossed we don't hit any more major bumps in the road. Although, from reading other people's blogs, this surrogacy journey is like riding a roller coaster. Hopefully, we're ready for all the ups and downs.

Opinions are Like...

2009-11-24T03:42:00.000-08:00

...you know the rest. Over the last several days, Aaron's illness has been diagnosed by our taxi driver, 2 different hotel guests and, finally, an actual doctor. Each person had their own specific "treatment" that was sure to cure his ails:

#1 - Special "white grass" mixed with yogurt (this turned out to be psyllium hulls)
#2 - Pudina Ka Stava pills (this is an Ayurvedic medicine which appears to be menthol oil capsules)
#3 - Equal parts salt and water in a small amount of water (this was supposed to minimize acid in the stomach)
#4 - Anti-everything (bacteria, vomit, diarrhea) and probiotics

Dr. Shivani came to Aaron's rescue by prescribing real medication. She also wrote a "doctor's note" for Continental Airlines as they were going to charge us $500 for moving our departure out by one day. This fee ($250 each ticket) is waived if we can prove that he was unfit to travel yesterday. Final diagnosis: acute severe gastroenteritis.

We leave for the airport in a few hours and Aaron is recovering nicely. He has been able to keep down some chicken broth prepared for him here at the hotel. He even had some of the crust from the pizza I ate for dinner with no ill effects...yet.

When I left for my solo sightseeing adventure yesterday morning, I had no idea that we would be here another day so I crammed everything in on my whirlwind tour. Here are some pics and a quick description of each:

Qutub Minar (240 ft victory tower built 1199-1368)

Lotus Temple (115 ft Baha'i House of Worship built 1980-1986)

Humayum's Tomb (125 ft Mughal tomb built 1570)

I also saw India Gate (138 ft arch of triumph), Secretariat Buildings (the Ministries of Home Affairs, Finance and External Affairs), Rashtrapati Bhavan (the president's residence), Sansad Bhavan (the parliamentary building) and Connaught Place (the city's business and tourist centre). It was an exhausting day as it was quite warm and I was still fighting this darn cold/flu.

Needless to say, today was spent sleeping in and resting up for our trip back. I keep daydreaming about my comfy bed back home in my teeny cottage. I miss my family, my friends and my little dog, too. We'll being see you all very soon!

Taj Mahal or Bust

2009-11-23T03:49:00.000-08:00

Well, we bit the bullet and used a hired car rather than take the express train to Agra. And, boy, are we glad we did. Both of us were still feeling under the weather when the driver picked us up from the hotel at 6 am yesterday. Aaron's cold symptoms seemed to be subsiding a bit and mine were bearable (albeit annoying).

Not too far into our drive, Aaron started getting digestive upset. During the 3+ hour drive there, he had a few close calls, but we arrived at the Taj Mahal without incident. However, things went and have continued to go downhill since. Suffice it to say, it was a long day and even longer night.

Last night was probably one of the toughest we've ever spent in a hotel room. Between my snoring due to severe congestion and his frequent bathroom visits, neither of us got any sleep. We had an appointment at Phoenix Hospital for 8 am today to leave another sperm sample which we were not able to make. I did take a rickshaw there and back at about 9 to pick up a specimen cup after convincing a young lady in the lab that I would be right back with a sample.

We had already paid for a day tour to some sights around Delhi and the car was supposed to have picked us up at 9:30. Poor Aaron had to take yet another trip into the bathroom, but this time the pressure was on to perform an undesirable (at least at that precise moment) task. After placement of the said container into an inconspicuous bag, I headed out to see if our driver could take me on a short side trip to Phoenix down the street.

To my surprise and dismay, there was no car in sight. I contacted the hotel owner (who had put us in touch with the tour company) and he quickly made some calls to arrange a replacement driver. I arrived at the hospital roughly 30 minutes later and I prayed that the little guys weren't worse-for-wear. I am still waiting to hear if they have been processed and frozen properly.

Unfortunately, the sad story continues, but for now I leave you with this breathtaking picture of the beautiful Taj Mahal. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that I will never take for granted. I am truly grateful that - despite what we endured - I was able to see it in person.

Now I'm off to call the airlines to change our flights to a later date...

Mosque, Fort and Food

2009-11-21T04:43:00.000-08:00

We finally ventured out of our hotel neighborhood to experience India as tourists. The B&B owner arranged a car and driver to take us into Old Delhi. It is about 30 minutes from where we are staying.

First, we visited the Jama Masjid (or "Friday Mosque") - India's largest mosque. We only had about 45 minutes to walk through since it closes for an hour and a half for mid-day prayers. Before entering we had to remove our shoes and, because I was wearing capri pants, I had to don a robe (read: very unflattering mu-mu).

There are two minarets; one of which can be climbed for superb views of the city. Unfortunately, women are not able to enter the tower unless accompanied by a man and Aaron was not feeling well enough to ascend all the stairs. I guess I should be thankful as there are stories of women being groped and people falling of the top.

Next, we went to the Red Fort which dates from the very peak of Mughal (a Muslim dynasty) power. When the emperor rode out of the fort on an elephant's back into the streets of Old Delhi, it was a most magnificent display of pomp and circumstance. Inside the fort walls, there are baths, fountains (now dry) and several marble pavilions.

After working up our appetites with all the walking...er, sitting in a rickshaw, we headed to the famous Karim's. This restaurant has been serving excellent Mughali food for over 80 years from a cluster of no-frills rooms hidden down an alley. We ordered half servings so we could try a little bit of everything - chicken tikka, mutton qorma, badam pasanda, sheermal and, of course, naan.

On our way back to the hotel, our driver (a devout Hindu) insisted we stop at the memorial site of Mahatma Ghandi. There were bus loads of kids arriving on field trips from school. The children were running up the grassy hills and then rolling down in races. It made us smile knowing that our baby will be part of this amazing place.

Swine Flu?

2009-11-20T05:29:00.000-08:00

Today has been a total bust, tourism-wise. Aaron has contracted some sort of flu; fever, body aches, runny nose, etc. He's too sick to leave our room and I was just uneasy sightseeing without him. I did leave our hotel for a while this morning to go to the pharmacy. I came back with cold/flu medicine, nasal decongestant spray, two different Indian herbs for immunity support, citrus juice for vitamin C, yogurt for probiotics and his favorite nuts - pistachios - for the soul. I'm bound and determined that he get better and fast!

I've spent the better part of my day watching movies on TV and planning out our remaining time in India. Hopefully, Aaron recuperates quickly because I have every minute of the next 3 days mapped out on a tight time line. Of course, I've got the sights numbered in order of importance so, in the event that he can't do it all, I can narrow down the itinerary to just the "must-see".

Our train tickets to Agra have been reserved. We decided not to hire driver to the Taj Mahal because the roads can be rough and the travel time is more than double by car. I booked the express train for Sunday so tomorrow can be spent in Delhi near our home base in case Aaron needs to have a nap mid-day. We leave India Monday night, but should be able to visit any of the places we can't fit in on Saturday during the day.

The walk to our appointment yesterday was somewhat precarious as the traffic here is very chaotic. Buses, cars, motorcycles, rickshaws, bicycles and all manner of transportation race by, honking endlessly for no other reason than to announce their presence in the world. Crossing the street becomes like a game of "Frogger" which, thankfully, both of us used to be quite good at. Dr. Shivani was impressed that we walked and that we planned on walking to the M-Block market afterward.

I got to speak with Dr. Shivani one-on-one while Aaron was "otherwise engaged" in the bathroom of some hospital room upstairs. She is so down-to-earth and was easy to talk to despite the fact that we both knew what was going on a few floors above us. We went over our cycle which is still on track for January. In fact, we might be able to have our last chosen SM since she was not able to cycle with the other IP's this month.

Coincidentally, we ran into Dr. Shivani later that night while we were standing in front of a restaurant waiting for it to open. She saw us from across the way and walked right up to us. We chit-chatted briefly and then watched her walk away into the crowd. I turned to Aaron and said, "No one would never know that she is a highly-regarded IVF doctor because she is just so unpretentious."

Aaron is supposed to go back to make another "deposit" on Sunday, but we are going to see about moving it to Monday morning since he has been so ill. I can't imagine that having a fever is good for sperm quality. Let alone the pressure to perform while feeling like you've been run over by a truck. Poor guy!

Safe and Sound

2009-11-18T23:14:00.000-08:00

After 30 hours of being a wake with only a few short naps here or there (it's hard to sleep sitting straight up on a plane), our heads finally hit the pillows in our hotel room. We were able to sleep for about 7 hours with the help of "Simply Sleep" until the noises from the hustle and bustle of the outside world roused us.

If it wasn't for an unexpected delay, we'd have arrived in Delhi several hours sooner. We're not quite sure what the "mechanical problems" were, but our plane wasn't the only one to leave Newark late. At the end of the C concourse, there were 4 Continental flights (including ours) which were delayed - Barcelona and Geneva by 3 hours each and London by 5 hours.

We are now just hanging out in our room waiting for 3 pm to roll around so we can go to our appointment with Dr. Shivani. Our hotel is only about 1 kilometer from Phoenix Hospital so we are going to walk. It'll be nice to get out in the fresh air and stretch our legs a bit.

Oh, and apparently we lost a day. We kept thinking that today was Wednesday and that we could go to Agra tomorrow, but it is actually Thursday and the Taj Mahal is closed on Fridays. So, my whole itinerary has gone out the window. The best laid plans...

3, 2, 1...

2009-11-14T06:40:00.000-08:00

The countdown to our departure has begun. We leave on Tuesday morning, less than 3 days away. Today we ran a bunch of errands and stopped by a party to say goodbye to some friends. Tomorrow is a BBQ to say our farewells to family. Monday is a work day to wrap up loose ends with our jobs. And then, we're off!

Oh, and guess what? Aaron (my DH, for those who don't know) found my passport the other day in a laptop bag in his office. I'm so happy to have it since there are stamps from 12 different countries which document our travels over the last 9 years. After perusing through it, I discovered that I would have had to obtain a new passport regardless. Per the Indian Consulate guidelines, you need to have two completely blank pages for a tourist visa of which I only have one.

I can't wait to break in my brand spankin' new passport. Let the entry stamping begin! :)

Delhi, Baby!

2009-11-11T14:44:00.000-08:00

This time next week, we will be experiencing the sights, sounds and smells of Delhi. A friend of ours who spent several weeks in India years ago, lent us a book titled, "A Journey Through India" (thanks, Trace!). I've been reading through it the last few days in anticipation of our trip and wanted to share a paragraph from the Introduction.

"The tourist brochure proclaims, India is a land of startling contrasts. And the government handbook trots out the catchphrase, "Unity in Diversity". All of which is trite, but true. Centuries of invasions and migrations and the consequent mingling of peoples have resulted in a great variety of physical types. The palette of Indian skin tones ranges from pale to swarthy, while facial features display tremendous diversity. The people of India speak one or more of fifteen different languages and over 200 dialects; they may be Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs, Buddhists, Christians, Zoroastrians or Jews. What, then, in this Babel of tongues and ways of worship, ultimately binds the Indian people together? The idea of India has roots that go deeper in the popular mind than regional or sectarian loyalties. At the more quotidian level, the rhythm of the seasons with its impact on life and work, local cults and beliefs has bound rural life in a common thread. In the cities the compulsions of industry and urban life have led to a new logic, a new impetus that holds diverse groups together in a sense of community. Both the contrasts and the continuity are a product of India's varied topography and long history."

The book contains loads of beautiful pictures of the architecture, artifacts, landscapes and people of India. It humbles me to think that our child will come from such a diverse and storied country. I am in awe.

Our Chosen One

2009-11-04T20:22:00.000-08:00

In two weeks from today, we will be in Delhi. I can't believe it! On one hand, I am beyond ready. On the other, I am completely unprepared.

The ED we chose (our 1st choice of the final 3 options) is not available until January, but we are happy to wait for her. She looks like she could be related to me from my father's side of the family. Plus, she has an excellent track record with her previous donations.

We are very pleased that she able to cycle for us. We feel blessed and are anxious to start our journey!

Visa. Where WE Want to Be.

2009-10-30T19:25:00.001-07:00

We received our passports back from the Consulate yesterday with our entry visas for India. I felt a twinge of sadness knowing we would not be leaving this Sunday with our previous ED.

That was until today...

We have decided on a new ED and have rescheduled our trip. We leave November 17th and get back November 24th. Our new cycle will hopefully be sometime in December. We are just waiting for confirmation from Dr. Shivani to make sure our chosen ED is ready and able.

Even though my Indian visa is burning a hole in my shiny new passport and Delhi is where I want to be RIGHT NOW, I know that everything happens for a reason. This time next year, we will have our baby!

The Pressure is Off

2009-10-27T20:00:00.000-07:00

Apparently, a frozen sperm sample is just as effective as a fresh one (thanks for bringing that to our attention, Amani). This means our trip does not have to be scheduled around our ED now that she will be from India rather than the US. In fact, the sad reality is, neither of us even have to be physically present when our baby is conceived. Welcome to the miracle of modern medicine.

So, we will be working with our employers this week to select new travel dates. We hope to cycle in late November or early December after my DH has made his deposit(s). We would love to be pregnant before the end of the year. Of course, it all depends on our new ED, SM and the good doctor.

Speaking of which, we've received about 20 profiles of donors - not all of whom are available - and are narrowing down our choices. It is difficult trying to perfectly balance appearance (does she have my eyes, my nose, my smile?) and past performance. We know that we definitely want a proven ED and trust that Dr. Shivani will help steer us in the right direction.

Heartbreaking News

2009-10-23T20:46:00.000-07:00

One week before we are scheduled to leave and our ED has backed out. She decided not to donate at the last minute (we literally just found out an hour ago) which has left us completely crushed. It is a major blow in more ways than one and we were left wondering what to do next.

I emailed Dr. Shivani immediately and she called to console us straight away. She was very sympathetic and helped me put things in perspective. What an amazing spirit!

She has asked for a few days to come up with a replacement ED from India. We should have a couple of donors to choose from by Monday. However, our cycle will now be delayed for several weeks.

Despite being deeply hurt and utterly disappointed, we cannot let this keep us from moving forward. Our wish is to have a child and, no matter what gets thrown at us, we shall prevail.

Come and Gone

2009-10-20T20:56:00.001-07:00

My passport was delivered to us this morning and was promptly packaged up and sent it on it's merry way (along with DH's) to the Indian Consulate to be stamped with an entry visa. Included in the envelope was a prepaid, overnight return label so hopefully it (they) will be shipped back post-haste.

Our legal representation situation was also sorted out this morning after a few emails back and forth overseas. There were a couple of misconceptions which have since been cleared up. Happily, the issues were in our favor.

I can now breathe a HUGE sigh of relief. It seems like things are humming along smoothly. Like my DH said, "Now you just need to worry about what to pack!"

Shubh Diwali!

2009-10-17T18:54:00.000-07:00

Today is an official holiday in India. Diwali , the "Festival of Lights", is one of the biggest festivals of Hindus celebrated with great enthusiasm and happiness. Colorful varieties of fireworks and sparklers are always associated with this festival. People light up diyas (cotton string wicks inserted in small clay pots filled with oil) and candles all around their house. The festival involves the exchange of gifts - such as new clothes and sweets - for all those near and dear. Some business communities start their financial year on Diwali and new account books are opened on this day.

That said, we have not been able to finalize the retaining of our lawyer for the required contracts. I have an email message out awaiting a reply. We hope to have the legal portion of our journey wrapped up next week when the festivities come to a close.

Also today, an email was sent to me from the Department of State with my passport status. Here's what it said:

"Thank you for submitting your application for a U.S. passport book! It is currently being processed. When you applied, you requested Expedited Service. We are processing requests for Expedited Service, that includes overnight delivery to and from the Passport Agency, in about 2 to 3 weeks door-to-door."

I looked at a calendar and determined that if I do not have my new passport by Wednesday (possibly Thursday, if we feel like taking a gamble), my DH will have to apply for his entry visa without me. The Indian Consulate requires 5 business days from the receipt of the application to process mail-in requests. I may just have to drive the 6 hours to apply in person for my visa once my passport finally arrives.

So, let's hope today is an auspicious day for not only those in India but for all of us no matter in what part of the world we live.

IVF from A to Z

2009-10-10T21:48:00.000-07:00

Abandoned cycle - An IVF cycle canceled after stimulation and before egg collection.

Beta HCG test - A blood test used to detect very early pregnancy and evaluate development.

Biochemical pregnancy - A positive Beta HCG test but no pregnancy is visible by ultrasound.

Blastocyst - An advanced stage of embryo development with two distinct cell types.

Clinical pregnancy - A pregnancy confirmed with the presence of a gestational sac or fetus detected by ultrasound.

Down-regulation - Suppression of the natural secretion gonadotropins by using GnRh analogues.

Egg retrieval - The procedure by which eggs are collected from the woman's ovaries.

Embryo - A fertilized egg up to eight weeks of development.

Embryo transfer - The placement of one or more embryos into the uterine cavity.

Estrodial - A hormone produced mainly by the ovaries.

Fertilization - The penetration of an egg by sperm to initiate embryo development.

Fetus - The term used for an embryo after the eighth week of development until birth.

Follicle - A fluid filled cyst in the ovary in which the egg develops.

Gestational sac - A fluid filled sac that develops within the cavity of the womb.

GnRh - A hormone that stimulates the pituitary gland to release FSH and LH.

GnRh analogues - A synthetic hormone similar to the natural GnRh.

Gonadotropins - Drugs given by injection to stimulate the sex glands to produce many follicles.

HCG - A hormone produced in early pregnancy to stimulate the corpus luteum.

ICSI - A treatment where a single sperm is injected into an egg.

Implantation - The bedding of the embryo into the lining of the womb.

Ovarian reserve - The ability of the ovary to produce eggs.

Ovum (oocyte) - An egg.

Progesterone - A hormone produced by the placenta.

Stimulated cycle - A treatment in which fertility drugs are used to produce more eggs.

Ultrasound - A technique used for visualizing internal organs by using sound waves.

Zygote - A fertilized egg before cell division begins.

I didn't look up every word associated with surrogacy -- only the ones that are (or might be) relevant to our particular situation. The list would be way too long if I had to define all the fertility jargon.

Lost and Found

2009-10-09T19:42:00.001-07:00

So, it was no joke when I mentioned in my last post that I did not know where my passport was. We turned our little house upside down over the span of two days and could not find it. I know it's here somewhere because I can't imagine where else it could be. Argh!

Yesterday, I went down to the county office and ordered a replacement. It cost almost $200 total to expedite my request which takes the processing time down from 4-6 to 2-3 weeks. I am hoping for the 2 week estimation because I will then need to apply for my entry visa into India that can take 5 business days to obtain. Talk about cutting it down to the wire.

In other news...

We received our surrogate profile today. Yay! She is 30-years old and is married with 3 children - all normal pregnancies and deliveries. We were told that her husband is very supportive and that she is both happy and excited to help us achieve success in our endeavors to be parents through surrogacy. Included in the email was a picture of her with her son and she looks very pretty in a beautiful yellow salwar kameez.

In know this may sound cheesy but, I felt an immediate connection to her. This wonderful woman has agreed to carry our child in her womb; nurturing, protecting and sustaining him or her for nine months. What an amazing and priceless gift!

Aunt Flo Arrived!

2009-10-06T20:05:00.000-07:00

Our ED called late yesterday afternoon to tell me her period started. I literally jumped up and down at work with excitement. When I got home, we quickly got to work organizing our trip.

This evening my DH bought airline tickets and reserved our accommodations. We leave on November 1st which is a little less than 4 weeks away. Wowza!

Here is the time line I've calculated:

October 30th - Start SubQ (CD 1)
November 1st - Leave US (CD 3)
November 2nd - Arrive India (CD 4)
November 3rd - 1st U/S and B/W (CD 5)
November 5th - 2nd U/S and B/W (CD 7)
November 7th - 3rd U/S and B/W (CD 9)
November 9th thru 12th - EPU, based on egg maturity (CD 11 thru 14)
November 11th thru 16th - ET, based on embryo quality (2-5 days after EPU)
November 13th - Leave India

Now, I just need to know one thing. Where'd I put my darn passport?

Whoopsie Daisy!

2009-10-04T00:29:00.000-07:00

I am embarrassed to admit that I have committed my first blogger faux pas (one of many to surely come). I am a plagiarist; unintentionally, of course. While trying to spruce up my page, I added a gadget that lists which blogs I am following.

Well, lo and behold, the title I chose for my own - "From India, With Love" - is already in use by other IP's (sorry, guys!). So, to avoid confusion in the surrogacy blogosphere and possible jail time, I need to change it and fast.

I guess it is down to my second choice - "Out of India". Unfortunately, I'm out of other brilliant ideas. Unless your creative juices start flowing...

If you have a stroke of genius and can come up with a witty play on words, let me know. You need to make sure it is original (read: not stolen even if by complete accident) and I must approve, of course.

BCP, EPU, PMS, WTF?

2009-10-03T16:50:00.000-07:00

For those of you out there who aren't schooled in the fertility/infertility vernacular, I thought it might be helpful to translate the acronyms used on this and other blogs about surrogacy. Think of this as a secret decoder ring, of sorts. Here goes:

AF - Aunt Flo, Period or Menstrual cycle
AH - Assisted Hatching
ART - Assisted Reproductive Technology
BCP - Birth Control Pills
Beta - HCG pregnancy test
BFN - Big Fat Negative
BFP - Big Fat Positive
B/W - Blood Work
CD - Cycle Day
DE - Donor Eggs
DPR - Days Post Retrieval
DPT - Days Post Transfer
Dx - Diagnosis
E2 - Estradiol
ED - Egg donor
EDD - Estimated Due Date
ENDO - Endometriosis
ET - Embryo Transfer
EPU - Egg Pick-up (Retrieval)
FET - Frozen Embryo Transfer
FSH - Follicle Stimulating Hormone
GS - Gestational Surrogate
HCG - Human Chorionic Gonadotropin
HRT - Hormone Replacement Therapy
ICSI - Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection
IM - Intramuscular Injections
IP - Intended Parent
IVF - In Vitro Fertilization
LH - Luteinizing Hormone
MC - Miscarriage
P4 - Progesterone
PG - Pregnant, Pregnancy
SM - Surrogate Mother
SubQ - Subcutaneous Injections
Tx - Treatment
U/S - Ultrasound
2WW - 2 Week Wait (from ET until PG test)

This is not an exhaustive list but, it will help you decipher what's being said out there in the IVF blogosphere.

Next up? A glossary for all (okay, maybe just some) of the medical lingo above.

Where to begin?

2009-10-02T21:21:00.000-07:00

We were married at a young age; I was 19 and my husband was 20. We will be celebrating our 17th wedding anniversary this coming December. We both come from big families; I have 5 siblings and my husband has 3. We have lots of nieces and nephews, too.

We waited to start our own family until after we had purchased our first home when we were in our late 20’s. We tried for the next several years to conceive but, after trying everything - including fertility drugs, infertility procedures, numerous surgeries and even an egg donation from my older sister - we finally had to give up. I had very aggressive Endometriosis (which I was unaware of until I went off BCP to get pregnant) that was always one step ahead of us. It finally had to be corrected with a total hysterectomy and oophorectomy.

It was a very difficult journey and we decided to take a break for a few years to weigh our options. We soon realized, though, that our desire to raise children would not go away and that it is what we are meant to do. We have a very good life but it is just isn’t complete without kids.

At the beginning of this year (after two adoption prospects fell through), we started looking into surrogacy. We quickly determined that the hefty price tag here in the US was outside of our means. After watching a TV show on Indian surrogates, we started researching options in India; assuming my younger sister would donate. But, after several months of consideration, she respectfully declined and we were back at square one.

Thankfully, a friend of mine (who I have known for over 20 years) heard about our plight and called me offering egg donation. We were over the moon. I started following every blog I could find on surrogacy in India. We contacted a few different clinics and agencies about using a known egg donor; comparing services, prices and success rates.

About two months ago, we emailed Dr. Shivani Sachdev-Gour and haven’t looked back since. She is knowledgeable, professional, upfront and responsive (generally). We like the fact that Phoenix Hospital is so modern and that Delhi is less expensive than Mumbai.

Our dear donor should be starting her period in the next several days so we are not too far off from confirming a surrogate for our cycle and booking our trip. Based on my rudimentary calculations, we will be leaving the States around October 31st.

We can’t wait!